The Mothers
Gissell - November 2023
As a small child I longed for my parents’ love and attention. My father was an alcoholic, and my mother was a victim of domestic abuse. Although my dad was a mean drunk, I loved him very much and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I knew he hurt my mom, but as a child I just wished they got along.
Unfortunately, my dad passed away in 2010, I was 9 at the time. You would think my mother would be there for me, comforting me through this painful time, but she did not. As I got older, I got into trouble. I skipped school and ran off with my friends, I wouldn’t come home for days, weeks, even months. I was 13 at the time. So many things happened at this age. I got into fights that led me to be put on probation. I would then go to different stores and steal bottles of alcohol. This led me to being detained in juvenile hall. This was an ongoing cycle from when I was 13 till, I was 17.
After I graduated from high school, I went to UEI college to train in criminal justice. I wanted to change my life around and help people like me. I wanted to make a difference and my mom was so proud of me. Unfortunately, I fell back to my old habits and I was running away again, drinking again, doing drugs, getting into fights-I was a long way from home.
Then one night I was with a friend, I didn’t know him very well, but I knew we both liked the same things. He offered me some beer, so we drank together. As it got dark, he offered to take me home. We walked to his house so his parents could give me a ride, but nobody was there. I sat in the living room and waited for his parents to arrive.
As the front door opened, I quickly stood up, but it wasn’t his mom, it wasn’t his dad, it was his friend holding a case of beer. From there everything was a blur. All I can remember is lying down in a bed, hearing them laugh and feeling pain in my lower body. I managed to get away from them. I felt so alone, so hopeless. I thought this was it. I tried to hurt myself, so if someone found me, they would take me to the hospital and contact my mom. At the time I felt like that was the only way, I tried to hurt myself in the stomach. Even though I tried very hard, it didn’t work.
I made my way to a McDonalds, connected to the internet, and called a friend who took me home and wished me the best in life. Weeks went by and I started feeling so sick, I couldn’t eat, I was throwing up every hour. I took a test to see if I was pregnant and it came out positive. I took a long pause; I was in disbelief. I was very scared to tell my mom. I kept thinking about how I got pregnant and felt disgusted, and I didn’t want the baby.
I called the Clinic and scheduled an appointment for another pregnancy test to make sure. It also came out positive. They asked if my mom knew, I told them no way. Surprisingly, the staff members were very supportive and did not judge me. I cried and they reassured me I was going to be okay. They gave me resources and scheduled me for an ultrasound. A part of me was happy knowing there was a baby growing inside me. Another part of me was scared of doing this all alone.
At that time, I didn’t know who the father was, but I knew he was bad for us. I finally told my mom and she was in denial. She asked questions I was ashamed to answer.
The date of my first ultrasound arrived and my mom came along. When I heard my baby’s heartbeat, I cried with joy. I fell in love at first sight when my baby was the size of a peanut. I knew I wanted this baby. This was my baby, and nobody could take her from me. My baby saved my life, she made me change for the better.
The Clinic helped me with parenting classes, clothes, diapers, and other great resources and supplies for the baby and me. They helped me grow into a mature, loving, fearless mama. My daughter Alina is now 3 and has 2 siblings and a stepdad getting ready to adopt her. My husband, Sergio, came into my life when I was 5 months pregnant with Alina. He then stepped up as her father. When she was born, he also fell in love.
I don’t want my kids to ever feel alone like I did growing up. My family means everything to me, I broke the cycle of abuse, addiction, and neglect. I thank the Clinic for supporting me to be the best mom that I could be.
Salim age 28 - October 2022
When I first came to into the center, I was feeling overwhelmed, nervous, and sad. I knew there was a possibility I could be pregnant, and I didn’t know what I was going to do if that pregnancy test came back positive. I had an abortion prior to coming into the clinic. I had been in my addiction and had known I wasn’t capable of taking care of a baby at the time. I don’t believe in abortions, so when I got pregnant again, I was very emotional. I felt scared going into the clinic not knowing what the outcome was going to be, which is normal, but none the less scary.
When I came in, I was welcomed with open arms. Once my pregnancy test came back positive, they offered me tissues when I started crying. They offered a place for me to process my emotions. They gave me options when I told them I didn’t know if I was going to keep the baby. There was the choice of adoption (which I knew I didn’t want to do). I could come back and get a sonogram and see the nurse. I was unsure of what I wanted. I decided to make an appointment and come back for a sonogram. That was the best decision I ever made! That day I saw my baby, and I knew then I was going to keep him.
Today I am thriving as a mom. I enjoy getting to take the parenting classes the clinic offers. I earn Baby Bucks I get to spend at the Mommy and Me store. I also attend the Bridges meetings they offer to us mommas. They provide a safe place for us and our children. I feel honored to know each and every one of the women who work there. Thank you for everything you have done for my children and me.
Catherine
When Catherine first discovered she was pregnant she felt unprepared to work through the situation on her own. She had grown up seeing no problem with abortion, but when she faced an unplanned pregnancy, suddenly it wasn’t that easy. She called her aunt to get a more objective point of view. What she didn’t realized was that her Aunt Nancy volunteered at RPCC. Nancy knew just what to do, she invited her into the clinic to work through her options. When she had all that support and saw her child on the ultrasound, she suddenly got protective. RPCC has been able to support Catherine with classes and supplies. She delivered Ivy Caroline.
Jessica & Adam, with Hunter - October 2020
My name is Jessica. When I first found out I was pregnant I was 17 years old and I was still trying to graduate high school, get my driver’s license and figure all of that out. My boyfriend had actually just lost his job. So, it was already a pretty stressful time. I then I started feeling super sick and was thinking it was just the pressure from finals or maybe I was getting sick. We didn’t know what was wrong, Something told me I needed to take a pregnancy test. So I decided to go to the dollar store and get a pregnancy test. When it came back positive we both weren’t sure what to think because obviously those tests are very cheap; I didn’t trust it. We had seen the sign outside the pregnancy clinic that said free pregnancy test and decided that was the best option, we could then know for sure.
After heading in extremely nervous we were greeted by very friendly faces, I filled out some paperwork and we took the test. It too came back positive and we called in Adam to share the news. We were both terrified, absolutely terrified, but Becky and the rest of the staff put our minds at ease. They did a really good job giving us a lot of information and telling us what to expect. That was awesome, we had no idea. We had never been around babies at all, so figuring that out was really helpful.
After telling some of my family, some of them encouraged abortion. That made me feel uneasy and upset because I had previously experienced that and it was something I wanted to go through again.
After taking the test we started going to the pregnancy and parenting classes. RPCC offered classes, all kinds of information, baby supplies, and motivation and encouragement that we could do this. With Adam not having a job, he came to every pregnancy and parenting class with me and that was super helpful. We actually went multiple times a week together until he started his job. These classes were so helpful as we had no clue what we were in for, neither of us really had experience with babies. We also participated in the car seat program and Bridges meeting. I really appreciated the meetings and being able to connect with other moms and shop for baby items. It was so nice being able to get the things and nest for the baby when we couldn’t afford to go to the store and shop for baby essentials. I actually still attend these meetings and really enjoy the company of all the other moms. Being young and not having a lot of support from family members can be really rough when going through something like an unplanned pregnancy, but the pregnancy clinic was always there to help. They gave us the courage we needed to be young parents. When no one else offered help, there were there.
I graduated high school last year during my pregnancy and am currently attending college for graphic design, working toward my bachelor’s degree. I tested out of my freshman year and only have 2 left! My then boyfriend and I got married and are having our second baby and still utilizing all of the services the clinic has to offer. Our daughter Hunter is thriving and she is currently trying to walk and cruising across all the furniture. She knows hi and bye and she waves when we say them to her. She’s learning super-fast and I can’t believe she’s grown so much. We love her more than anything in the world. She’s made our lives incredible in every single way and both of us love to watch her grow and learn. We are in a much better place now and I don’t know if it would’ve been possible without the help and support we received from the clinic. I definitely recommend them to anyone going through a rough situation like we did.
Caitlyn and Ainsley - August 2019
I married my husband August 18, 2018. We got pregnant after being married for just 2 months. He was excited, I was kinda shocked. On Dec 6, 2018 my husband was discharged from the army. He came home and was in my face, “pack the house, we have to leave.” It was extremely stressful having to move in 6 days.
We arrived at my in-laws and it got rough. It was hard, my in-laws did not like me. My mother-in-law was extremely abusive towards me. My mother-in-law threatened physical harm twice. She threatened to “kick my butt and snap my neck.” She wanted her granddaughter dead, along with me. I started struggling with depression and I felt alone. My whole world came crashing down when my mother-in-law threatened me and my husband stood by her. He chose his mother in a heartbeat. He told me he wished I had a miscarriage.
I started to realize mine and my daughter’s life was at risk. I was scared, I was hurt. After being threatened, I moved home to be with my family. Best decision ever! Being back home I got the love of my family and friends. I came to the RPCC and started taking classes. I did 15 classes and got her a carseat. I got the love and support from all the staff. The help that you get at RPCC is amazing! If it wasn’t for you guys I would be in a really dark place.
Now I have a beautiful 2 month old baby girl that brings me so much joy. It’s the best feeling in the world. Every time I look at her, she smiles or she talks back. I’m just excited about the future with her and to raise her up in a Christian environment. I started to realize my self-worth again and I realized I’m worth more than I was giving my self credit.
Thank you RPCC! I appreciate everything you have done for Ainsley and I.
Krista and Orion - October 2018
I found out I was pregnant back in February 2017. I had just turned 19 a month earlier and was working part time in Poway and living with my parents. My boyfriend Michael was working two buildings over and going to school full time. I had been on birth control for around 5 years but during the month of January I didn’t have the money to buy that month’s supply. We had always communicated very well about if I had taken my pill but that month we were both so busy we just forgot. I had a feeling I was pregnant around early February and took some at home tests that came back negative. The feeling hadn’t left me so by the middle of the month we made the decision to book an appointment at RPCC to take a test. When the test came back positive we were both scared to say the least. We had only just become adults and as for me, I never wanted to have kids. I am adopted myself, and all I know about my birth mother is that she was too addicted to drugs to take care of me. My adoptive mother and I didn’t have a great relationship when I was younger and the first thing that popped into my head in that moment was her voice saying, “You should never have kids because you’ll be a terrible mother”. During this overwhelming time, our teacher Sharron was very kind and talked to us about our options; we were thinking abortion was the best method.
At that time, I didn’t have insurance, so the clinic sent me to get an ultra sound done which determined I was only a month along instead of the original test prediction of 6 weeks. In between this visit and my next at that clinic I ended up in the ER due to bleeding, I was sure it was a miscarriage. The hospital did an ultrasound and that’s when I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time. I was very emotional and mad because Michael wasn’t given permission into the room with me since he’s not technically family. I remember feeling so alone in the dark room staring at the monitor and seeing how big my little baby had already become. I immediately started crying the second I heard the heartbeat. I walked back into my assigned room and sat in Michael’s lap and just hugged him while crying for a long time. After hearing the heartbeat for the first time I knew that I couldn’t let anyone take my baby away from me.
I was scared for the future and being a mom at such a young age. I knew that telling both of our parents, family, and friends would be hard and that I needed a lot of help. The following week I returned to the clinic to start my classes and tell the staff my news, they were overjoyed to hear I had decided to have my baby and they gave me a huge basket with clothes, toys, and encouraging letters from the wonderful women who made them. I have gone to almost every class that is offered at the clinic with Michael by my side and it has brought us closer and so much relief in preparing for a baby. When I can, I attend the Bridges meetings that have allowed me to interact with new moms and moms with multiple kids and I’ve learned a lot from them. I also took the four-week childbirth classes a few months before my due date and they really got me prepared for labor.
As for my life now, I am currently living with my beautiful baby girl Orion, Michael, and his parents. I have just started back at Palomar college after a 3-year break and am taking online classes, so I can stay at home with my daughter and watch her grow. I am working towards my Associate in Science in Business Administration and hope to open up my own small business one day. Next week we are driving to Oregon to celebrate Orion’s first birthday and finally introducing her to the rest of her aunts and uncles. It’s been a hard transition into becoming a parent at such a young age, but the clinic has provided so much help and support that has gotten me through this experience a lot easier than most people have it. I am so thankful for everyone at the clinic and how much time they have spent with my family.
Joana - March 2018
When I first heard about RPCC, I was in my 7th month of pregnancy. I was looking for Lamaze classes.
I have received many services at RPCC among those are the support group meetings, classes, nutrition counseling and during my second pregnancy I received an ultrasound and a prenatal check up.
RPCC services have changed my life for the better because I have learned a lot about my children’s development, emotions and personality. I also have learned how important taking care of myself is. Receiving advice and support from the volunteers and staff has helped me in my daily life as a mom, wife, sister and daughter.
Melanie - February 2018
In March I made the call to schedule an abortion. I was 6 weeks pregnant, and while abortion didn’t feel right to me, it was pushed on me by family members who had convinced me abortion was my only hope at having a future.
My child’s father was extremely abusive, and everyone feared he would be in my life forever if I kept this child. M sister, who had experience unplanned pregnancy herself, referred me to RPCC and told me to explore my options before I made a decision. I agreed to go and made an appointment for a pregnancy test.
I was immediately greeted with smiles and felt welcome there. I took my test, answered some questions about my background, and told the advocate I was leaning toward abortion. When she asked me why, I told her about my family. She asked me one question that saved my son’s life, “What decision do YOU want to make? You are the one who has to live with your decision, not your family.” I walked out of those doors that day knowing there was not a chance I wasn’t going to have my baby. It took a 30 minute appointment for RPCC to help me make the right decision, and most importantly feel at peace about my decision.
Every time my son hits a milestone, or has a birthday, I will remember that without RPCC there may not have been this child who I adore so much.
Rachel - October 2017
Rachel discovered she was pregnant when she was age 18, on her way to the operating room to have her ovaries removed. and a nurse ran up with pre-op test results, yelling she’s PREGNANT! That nurse helped her tell Phil, her boyfriend, she was pregnant, but didn’t provide any other help. Rachel wasn’t even informed how far along she was. Her whole family was in shock, so brought her straight to RPCC when she left surgery. Rachel says she always knew about the clinic because she heard fond stories of when her mom attended classes here when she was pregnant with her. Rachel and her fiancé came nearly every week for prenatal classes and encouragement. Anything that could go wrong with her pregnancy, did. When her due date was approaching, the baby needed to be delivered so Rachel could have a life-saving procedure. Matthew was born healthy and her ovaries are fine. She says that getting pregnancy saved her ovaries, and she couldn’t be happier that she came for help to RPCC.
Raquel’s Story - Given at the Tea With thee - March 18, 2016
I went through domestic violence and a divorce with 3 young children. I was scared because I had 3 kids and at the time I had no idea what to do with my life. I was really scared living on my own. After 3 years I found someone special. When I got pregnant with my daughter at first I was scared wondering what I was going to do with 4 kids! Then I found RPCC. I am so thankful for them especially Anita and Sharon, because of the programs, their time and helping me to be a better mom and a better person. I learned new ways of disciplining my kids and loving them. I currently have a Bible Study class with Sharon which is helping me a lot. I’m also so grateful to God because He did a lot of miracles in my life. I’m getting married on March 28 and I feel so happy! RPCC helped me a lot and they encouraged me to be a volunteer at the clinic. Now I’m helping to give a Spanish Bible study to another mother, Ana. Once again thank you very much for everything. God Bless You!
Raquel’s Story - Given at the Tea With thee - March 18, 2016
My boyfriend and I weren’t getting along and we were fighting. I would then go off to my friends and I was drinking a lot, every weekend. Then one day I missed my period, but didn’t think that I could be pregnant because I had taken the morning after pill. We were unsure if I should take a test, so I said that I used to volunteer at this place when I was 16. Lets go there.
When I came to the center and took my test, I told Cindy that I was against abortion. I really thought that the test would come out negative. I was very shocked when It came out positive. Alex and I looked at each other and we were scared. We left and we didn’t talk about it. We were so confused and I was so emotional.
A few days passed and I noticed he wasn’t talking to me. He admitted that he was scared to become a father. We didn’t even have our own place. We were getting into fights over what to do. He was pretty much brainwashing me to have an abortion. It went through my head, but not ever anything that I wanted. We felt so alone. It got to the point to where I didn’t want to see him. I kept it a secret from everyone. I was crying in my sleep and would wake up and find my hands were on my tummy like I was protecting my baby.
At the Center we learned that his heartbeat had already started. That made it even more real for me and even more impossible for me to have an abortion. Still nobody knew that we were pregnant. I was really afraid what our parents were going to say. But I really needed my mom while we were working on that decision. It was really hard tryng to keep it secret from them and I knew they would eventually find out the wrong way. I finally blurted it out and then my parents wanted to have a meeting with him. They want to be assured that what was going on in his mind.
I believe getting pregnant was from God. I was putting my life at risk, I was drinking and staying out late. This is what I needed and I know things are only going to get better. We have our own place here in Ramona now. Alex is working in Vista and neither of us are running around with our friends drinking anymore. We have priorities now. For Valentines Day he bought me a ring and we are engaged. We plan to get married before the baby is born. I’ve been faithful to continue going to church with my family. And we are looking forward to the big day, June 7th. I been coming to the center for classes several times a week and I’ve been learning a lot more about my baby. Coming to the center to volunteer when I was 16 and then coming for my pregnancy test were the best things that have happened to me.
Colleen - March 2017
When I came to RPCC my boyfriend and I had a 4 year old preschooler, Steven, and we were living with his family. When I discovered that I was pregnant, I was in shock. We were struggling financially, living in one bedroom. I already didn’t feel that I measured up in my future mother-in-law’s eyes, and when she discovered we were expecting again, I felt like a failure. Pregnancy is supposed to be one of the happiest times of a woman’s life, but I just couldn’t feel. I was confused, afraid, and stressed out. I had several appointments at RPCC and each helper encouraged me to start prenatal care as soon as possible, but I couldn’t take the necessary steps. My boyfriend watched me struggling and suffering, so he asked me what I wanted to do. When I just raised my shoulders, he suggested abortion thinking I might find that an acceptable solution. There was no suggestion that would jolt me out of my depression. Finally when I was about 5 months along I finally was able to bring myself to call and make an appointment with a doctor and follow through. The volunteers at RPCC were so pleased. After that I started feeling increasingly better. Amazingly, Seth was born healthy and I couldn’t be happier. I’m so grateful to God for the volunteers at RPCC who never gave up on me.
Valerie - October 2016
Well, the day came, I had missed my period and honestly I didn’t want to take a pregnancy test at home all alone. So, I went to the RPCC to have a test. I was very apprehensive of what the results would be because my boyfriend and I had “our plan.” Rocky and I absolutely loved each other and knew we’d get married first and then have kids someday. But going into the clinic my biggest fear was that I might not actually be able to get pregnant because of previous abortions. I was afraid that the choices I had made in my past may have ruined my hopes for the future. Then I got my result and was so happy because I really wanted to be pregnant.
My previous experience made me hesitant to tell Rocky that I was pregnant. With each of my other pregnancies, I had wanted to have the child but the father always said “Abortion!” Scared, I wasn’t really sure what Rocky would say to me. When I told him I was pregnant, he was shocked a moment, just like a deer in headlights, but once that soaked in for a second (or five) he was actually extremely excited. I was relieved to hear that abortion was not an option for him. That was all I could ever want.
With my positive pregnancy test I was amazed to discover all the help that was available to me, both from the clinic and other community resources. I called all the phone numbers and found out that I qualified for a lot of assistance. I started coming back for classes and support groups. I learned an abundance of useful information and enjoyed the classes so much I went almost everyday of the week to absorb more. I was amazed to learn that the baby in me already had a heartbeat. But when I had my ultrasound it became so much more real to me. I could see the actual heart beating and blood pumping from me to MY Baby.
Russell was born July 4 2015. Then Rocky and I got married the following month on our fifth anniversary of being together. That baby coming into our lives changed everything. Russell brought Rocky and I and his two children, Taylor and Dalton together in a close and special way making us a family. We all got a wonderful gift the day he was born, LOVE. Now as a family we get to share in that love every day.
This whole being a real family thing has brought me a tremendous joy, happiness and peace that I never knew existed. I could hardly wait to have another baby and we really wanted our family to grow and expand. So, now I’m expecting again on New Year’s Day 2017.
Thank you all so much, for without this place and these magnificent women, I may not have had Russell and the beautiful family I do today. You have made ALL my dreams come true.
Trish-Ann - October 2016
This pregnancy was nerve racking to say the least. I lost my daughter last year on her due date in my womb and she was stillborn the next day. To say I was petrified when I got the positive pregnancy test is the least of it. I wasn’t ready to work with the hospitals. Too much PTSD from last time. I went to RPCC and they had loving support, and my mentor is a God fearing women. While I didn’t have a great need for stuff, I did need love and support and prayers n these women had my back. Fast forward to 9/19 and my son was born kicking and screaming!
Karyssa and Adelyn 2 months - August 2016
When I first found out that I was pregnant, I was in Nevada for Christmas and noticed that I was hungry all the time, and gaining weight. Months before my visit I had been working at Jack in the Box and noticed myself always eating the sliced pickles. I ended up taking my pregnancy test on Christmas Day at my grandma’s. It was weird to tell her that I thought I was pregnant. I didn’t have any money, so I asked her to help me get a pregnancy test. The worst part was her boyfriend was the one to drive me to the drug store. I went into the Walgreens alone and bought the best one I could find. When I got back, my grandma wanted to go in the bathroom with me. I said “No Way!” When I opened the door and I told everyone the result, my grandmother started yelling “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” My 7 year old little sister was running down the hallway yelling “My sister Is pregnant!!!!. She’s going to have a baby!” I told her to go sit down, because she was freaking me out. It hadn’t even sunk in for me yet. I looked at the result and thought “No, it’s not positive. I’m not pregnant.” I called my boyfriend to give him the news a little later. I was really nervous and scared. He already suspected that I was pregnant and wasn’t that surprised, but excited from the very beginning. Also, I was concerned because I had just gotten a job. I didn’t tell them for awhile because I was afraid I would get fired.
I returned to Ramona and my older sister told me to go to RPCC, that they would help me. I had always seen the Free Pregnancy Test Sign. I wanted to confirm the pregnancy test was true and wanted to get an ultrasound to see my baby-my little bugger. Even though I had only known I was pregnant for a few days, we thought I was 3 or 4 months along, but the ultrasound showed that I was 5 months along! I was over half way through the pregnancy. We couldn’t even see her whole body on the screen at one time. Help getting medical and WIC. The classes with the volunteers and meetings were very helpful, and I learned a lot of stuff that I never knew before. I got credit for reading brochures and I met other mothers that helped me not be so scared. The baby store helped me save lots of money on wipes, diapers and stuff. My favorite things were a hand knitted pink and white blanket, a cute dress with roses around the bottom and a front pack carrier. I have earned an awesome carseat in the carseart program
We moved into our own apartment when she was 2 weeks old. I’m a stay at home mom now. Life is busy now. I’m feeding her, changing her, playing with her almost all day. I have an at home business that I am working.
It’s a lot and I love it.